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Jan 08

Zombie Jobs and Dragon Bill Gates – Your Monday Recipe Review

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I have some sage advice for you folks: don’t drink coffee at 9:00 PM and then go to bed at 10:30. I spent all night dreaming that it was the evening of the apocalypse and buildings were exploding, the streets were deserted and zombie Steve Jobs came riding in on a dragon Bill Gates. Needless to say, I had my fill of strange and got up at 6:30.

Me and my cup of tea were very productive, though. I finally went through 4 months of Bon Appetit and located a dozen or more recipes with which to fatten my skinny ass husband. I may not be able to have y’all over for dinner, but that doesn’t mean I can’t show you how to make your own via pretty pictures (all taken in my ugly little kitchen).

So without further adieu, I give you:

Chicken à la Diable with Roasted Domino Potatoes

(and a side salad, because my husband insists that he got married so that he doesn’t have to eat vegetables anymore.)

1 cup all-purpose flour
3 teaspoons kosher salt, divided
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 large eggs
6 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 cup fresh white bread crumbs
4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts, pounded to 1/2″ thickness
3 tablespoons olive oil

Preheat oven to 375°F. Whisk flour, 2 teaspoons salt, and black pepper in a medium bowl. Beat eggs, Dijon mustard, and cayenne in another medium bowl. Mix the bread-crumbs and remaining 1 teaspoon salt in a third medium bowl.

Dredge 1 chicken breast in flour mixture, shaking off excess. Coat with egg mixture, then dredge in breadcrumbs. Transfer to a wire rack. Repeat with remaining chicken.

Heat oil in a large ovenproof skillet over medium heat. Add chicken; cook until golden, 2-3 minutes. Flip chicken; transfer to oven. Bake until cooked through, about 12 minutes.

For the Domino Potatoes:

4-5 Russet Potatoes, washed and peeled
4 Tbsp butter, divided
Kosher salt
Cracked pepper
Oregano
Smoked Paprika

The great thing about this recipe is that you can customize it to your taste. Change out the paprika for cayenne pepper, or rosemary, or garlic and parmesan. As long as you get them good and crispy and you can’t go wrong.

To begin, butter the inside of an 11×17 baking sheet with 2 tablespoons of the butter. Once the potatoes are washed and peeled, you’ll need to trim them down into something more or less resembling a rectangle. From there, cut them into 1/8″ slices and place them in rows fanned out in the baking sheet. Continue until all the potatoes are lined up. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Melt the remaining 2 tablespoons butter and add your choice of spices. Drizzle over the rows of potatoes and sprinkle with additional salt and pepper to taste. Bake at 425 degrees until brown and crispy.

Begrudgingly eat your damn salad while cursing your husband for having no culinary imagination and try to enjoy this fabulous feast while resisting the urge to skewer his ‘nads on your butter knife.

Many Merry Mouthgasms, y’all!

 

10 comments

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  1. Charity

    While most of that looks delish- I just want to say that photos of raw chicken is always disgusting. Haha!
    Charity recently posted..Longest fuckin’ post, EVAAAAAAAAHMy Profile

    1. admin

      Agreed, but it’s easier to appreciate the finished result when you can see how icky it looked before. That’s how it works, right?

  2. Misty

    I just love how you wrapped up this whole lovely gesture of making a scrumptious meal for your hubby, by threatening to skewer his nads. Threats of violence and underlying hostility = a long, healthy marriage!!

    Also, looks delish. I would NOT make it with a salad. Just FYI. I’m thinking garlic roasted spinach.
    Misty recently posted..An Ode to JenMy Profile

    1. admin

      Hah! The quote of the evening last night was that “You didn’t make this for me. You made this for your readers. I just get the tasty side benefits.”

      Seriously though, the guy thinks apples are all the greenery he needs to consume. Whenever I buy vegetables, they go bad before they all get eaten because he refuses to touch them. It’s like having a 32 year old child.

  3. andrea-maybe it's just me

    Oooh, that is a prettier way to make potatoes. However, I will get my skewers sharpened in case anyone has any oppositional comments! Yummy chicken too! I have so many years worth of cooking magazines that I swear I will cook out of, but am not always ready to take the risk of hearing “can we just have cheeseburgers tomorrow?”
    andrea-maybe it’s just me recently posted..Can I get some support?My Profile

    1. admin

      If anyone in my house ever asked me if they could have something else for dinner or insinuated that my food wasn’t good enough, they’d either be going hungry, or cooking for me every day for a month. Our house rule is “It eats the food on its plate, or it doesn’t eat at all.”

      *grumblegrumble*damnhypotheticalkidsinsultingmycooking*grindsteeth*

  4. Charity

    I want those potatoes. In fact, if my daughter sees them, she’s going to curse my ass all the way to the store for not making them sooner.
    Charity recently posted..Fried RavioliMy Profile

    1. admin

      They were deceptively easy. I think the chicken took longer to prep and cook than the potatoes. If you want them extra crispy, put them under the broiler for 2-3 minutes. It’s like joygasmic potato chips.

  5. Dani

    Men suck.

    Dan thinks the only vegetables in the world are corn and potatoes. Yes, he considers potatoes a vegetable. If I tell him to get a salad when we go out to dinner because he hasn’t eaten anything green in a month and a half he says, “I’m getting french fries… that’s a vegetable.” And he’s serious.

    Dinner looks mmmmmmmm!!! If you cooked for me I would make yummy noises and swoon and tell you how fabulous you are and then ask for the recipe, and probably seconds.

    xoxo
    Dani recently posted..When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Grape juice. Then everyone will wonder how you did it.My Profile

    1. admin

      Ken thinks that an apple a day and a centrum once or twice a week is all the vegetative matter he needs. I swear, I’m going to have to start pureeing stewed vegetables and mixing them into soups and sauces to get my nutrients. I can’t keep taking 6 vitamins a day.

      Also, if you’re ever in my neck of the woods, I’d be more than happy to stuff you full of tasty stuff.

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