Tag Archive: Unholy Cream of Bitch

Apr 10

Keep my kitchen clean, and no one needs to die.

Any relationship is also a partnership, and like all partnerships, each partner has their own strengths and weaknesses. I’m an excellent cook, but I spend way too much on groceries if I don’t make a list to reign myself in. I hate doing laundry. Ken is great at heavy lifting, fetching me socks for my …

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Mar 28

My carrot has a vagina and other pet peeves.

As I was eating lunch the other day, I found a few carrots behaving badly. And I ate them anyway. I hate misshapen vegetables. It’s bad enough that eating vegetables already feels like a chore, but now they’re being perverts? Ew. That is definitely a pet peeve I didn’t realize I had until now, when …

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Mar 26

Bitches got 99 problems, but not one of ’em is mine.

So, no post Friday. You know what, haters? Suck it. I spent 3 days (including all day Friday) sifting, sorting, and moving approximately 18 years of files packed not-so-neatly into 120 water damaged, deteriorating archive boxes. The good news is that a project 10 years in the making is complete and my thighs and butt feel …

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Jan 20

WTF Friday: A week in pictures

Moo Love

I woke up this morning in a funk, probably because I slept like shit last night. As productive and calorie free as I’ve been in the last 3 days, I think I’m over the bachelorette lifestyle and if the husband is listening, he’s welcome to come home early if he likes. I started this day …

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Jan 09

Dr. Douchebag! Paging Dr. Douchebag!

***Disclaimer to male readers (not that I believe you exist in this corner of the internet): This is about chick stuff. Go ‘way while you still have your innocence intact.*** It seems that my migraines of last week were as well timed as a migraine can be, since I had a doctor’s appointment scheduled to …

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