Tag Archive: I’m sorry you’re a twat.

Jan 09

I Object – You’re an idiot.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m being sued! I think…   I got a strange letter at work yesterday addressed just to me. Not c/o my office, but to me personally, and it was from a law office which was even more strange. So I opened it and it was a solicitation from a law firm to …

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Nov 05

Dumbest phone call ever.

I’m never going to have time for a real blog again, so instead, I’ll give you another installment of “Why college students should be locked in a mental ward until age 30.”     Thank you, silly undergrad skank, for interrupting the only 20 minutes I have today in which to shovel food in my …

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Apr 20

WTF Friday: Adventures in Landlording Part 3 – Threats of Violence as Currency

In addition to the falsely entitled twenty-something twats I work with in the course of my average day, I also get stuck working with some difficult/high maintenance property owners. Oh, who am I kidding? I have exactly one difficult AND high maintenance owner, and today, we salute you, Mr. PenisHead von Fuckertwat! Most property owners …

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Mar 26

Bitches got 99 problems, but not one of ‘em is mine.

So, no post Friday. You know what, haters? Suck it. I spent 3 days (including all day Friday)¬†sifting, sorting, and moving approximately 18 years of files packed not-so-neatly into 120 water damaged, deteriorating archive boxes. The good news is that a project 10 years in the making is complete and my thighs and butt feel …

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Feb 22

You are a crazy professional liability…

I need a vacation, yo. I haven’t had what you could well and truly call a vacation since October 2004. It was a beautiful, magical week in Club Med Cancun before those pussies became family friendly and seriously stunted my ability to spend 7 consecutive days in a perpetual alcoholic haze. I didn’t even get …

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