Tag Archive: Fuck You.

Mar 28

My carrot has a vagina and other pet peeves.

As I was eating lunch the other day, I found a few carrots behaving badly. And I ate them anyway. I hate misshapen vegetables. It’s bad enough that eating vegetables already feels like a chore, but now they’re being perverts? Ew. That is definitely a pet peeve I didn’t realize I had until now, when …

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Mar 26

Bitches got 99 problems, but not one of ’em is mine.

So, no post Friday. You know what, haters? Suck it. I spent 3 days (including all day Friday) sifting, sorting, and moving approximately 18 years of files packed not-so-neatly into 120 water damaged, deteriorating archive boxes. The good news is that a project 10 years in the making is complete and my thighs and butt feel …

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Feb 17

WTF Friday: Our bacon obsession is officially out of control.

Before you start posting irrational hate mail, hear me out. I love me some pork product. When cooked properly, bacon could bring about world peace. No joke. But then I found this. And I’m confronting the demons of my greatest culinary love. Yes, that is a real, taxidermied piggy turned piggy-bank. For the reasonable insane …

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Dec 28

Not even bacon can save you from choking.

Glory be to sweet baby marzipan, the holidays are over! Now, I’m not one for the 12 days of Christmas, so despite the cries of protest from, well, everyone, I will be reclaiming my living room this weekend and taking down the Christmas tree and decorations. My only dilemma now is how to decorate so …

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Dec 21

Christmas commercials are dirty. And not in a fun way.

I’ve been realizing over the last week or so, just days from Christmas, that the holiday shopping commercials are really getting out of control. Then Noa posted about it on her blog this morning and when I went to post a reply, it was 2 pages long, so I decided to make my own post. …

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