Great, now I have a terrible Radiohead song in my head. It couldn’t be helped though. I’m trying to prevent a future sex offender.
I started this all wrong…Let me start again.
I’m dog sitting for my friend Tina while she’s out of the state. As I was taking him for a walk to relieve himself after being trapped inside with my homicidal maniac of a bully cat, we walked into an odd situation. Because this is me we’re talking about after all. We were walking past one of the other buildings along our street when we happened upon a teenage boy of 14 years or so, standing partially behind one of the bushes that line the sidewalk. I’m not particularly enamored of my neighbors and keep mostly to myself, so I’m not sure if he lived in the building or not. My ability to care about this fact disappeared when he started making weird googly, “I am a future rapist” eyes at me. I shook my head at him and said, “You are one creepy kid.” In turn, he flipped me off and slunk away in his creepy way while the dog and I continued our evening constitutional.
“Nothin’, man! I was just standing next to that tree, watching.”
“That tree?” *He points at the bush next to the sidewalk* “You were just hanging out behind a bush and watching?”
“Yeah, man! That was it!”
“How could you possibly think that wouldn’t be creepy to anyone who sees you?”