Feb 03

WTF Friday: Some (not so) Minor Pet Peeves.

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Remember from Wednesday where I’m a sick, short tempered twat? Yeah, it was bad enough this morning to justify calling in sick. I can’t get comfortable, nothing is helping from medicine, to ice packs, to hot showers. I can’t hear, I can’t breathe, I can’t walk a straight line to save my life. So I’m relegated to a day of misery on the couch with my friends Internet and Television. Unfortunately, the content of our conversation is making me angry.

This tempest in a teapot has been a week in the making and it all sort of culminated in a shrill screeching cry for relief yesterday. College kids are total flakes, so I had a few no-show appointments, then a cancellation. I dropped a whole chunk of French Baguette into my bowl of chicken soup and splattered everything within a ten foot radius of my desk. While I was cleaning that up, my ginormous ass knocked over the only soda I’d seen in 2 days and robbed me of that comfort too. My body is now eating its fat stores since I can’t seem to handle real food, no pun intended.

And then of course, you have your run of the mill fucktards shitting their usual rainbows and unicorns. I got 2 invitations to quit Facebook today, and someone inevitably posts a gripe once a week like clockwork about how the new timeline is ruining Facebook. And to these snot rags, I say this:

You’re going to flip your lid over a LOOK? Alrighty then. Don’t let the door knock you on your ass on the way out.

Seriously, it’s a free service and one that people use because it satisfies a need they have to be unrepentant attention whores. Facebook will do as they always have, which is to say they’ll do whatever they want. As the “consumer” you reserve the right to speak to them in the only terms they understand – stop using their free service.

But can you do it while maintaining at least a semblance of self respect and leave without the melodramatic theatrics and feigned righteous indignation? All I hear when you bitch about this free entertainment option on which you spend several hours of your free time is “Waaaaah! I’m not comfortable with change! Stick a boob in my mouth and soothe my impotent rage!”  I’ve met 5 year olds whose temper tantrums were more justified than this drivel.

And then there are the cuntscicles who seem to believe that I’m only saying mean things to them because I’m sick. No, fuckstick, I’m saying these things because you’re a douchecanoe and someone needs to do you the service of telling you so. The fact that I’m sick just means I’m too weak to stab you with a car key while I tell you.


But  the thing that actually makes me feel a little sick inside is this:

The Susan G. Komen Foundation no longer has anything to do with Cancer.

It’s been pretty widely covered recently that Susan G. Komen foundation stopped providing funding to Planned Parenthood and research facilities which make use of embryonic stem cells in their research. And then they “apologized” and reversed their decision to defund PP when the internet at large started shooting holes in their policies. I’m not going to mount a full scale soap box sermon over the subject because while I’m completely pro-choice, I also support a person’s right to be on whatever side of that fence they want to be on, even if it’s completely opposite of my own feelings. No, my issue with the foundation’s recent appearance in the news is that it means they’re using people’s donation money for their own political purposes.

This foundation should be at least somewhat close to my heart because I had a brief, yet terrifying bout with cancer. And yet I stopped expecting anything good to come of their ministrations years ago when it was revealed that more money goes into funding education, awareness, and screenings than actually goes into the research which could lead to prevention. Yes, it’s extremely important that everyone know about breast cancer, and every cancer in general, really. But at this point, I think the cat’s out of the bag about cancer, breast or otherwise, so how about kicking a little bit of that excessive marketing budget into researching the cure you’re so fond of citing? We’re talking less than a shiny quarter for every dollar donated.  That’s like telling a starving child that someone donated some money to get them some food, but that you found it more important to use the money to tell people why starvation sucks.

  • The Gateway for Cancer Research donates 99 cents on the dollar to straight research which can produce an immediate impact on the lives of cancer patients.
  • Stand Up 2 Cancer which donates 100% of proceeds to the American Association of Cancer Research.
  • The Stefanie Spielman Fund for Breast Cancer Research which goes into researching more effective treatments.

Ever heard of these? Maybe you have, but most likely you haven’t. Because they don’t sell useless, pink ribbon emblazoned garbage to shamelessly promote an organization that has made fewer strides toward progress on the cancer front than non-cancer related researchers. The high functioning sociopaths heading up their marketing department have convinced people to donate money to their organization, and they’ve started using this money for political ends having nothing to do with cancer. And any organization who won’t be the champion of the very cause they’re shilling for doesn’t deserve my money, or the right to be my voice.

This is not a call to stop donating. On the contrary, we need more people who want to make a positive contribution. Who want find ways to more effectively treat these cancers with less pain or suffering. Who hope to see cancers eradicated, if not in their lifetime, than their children’s or grand children’s lifetimes.

This is a call to do your homework. I know, most of us cherished the idea of leaving homework behind after high school/college/etc. But when it comes to your money, don’t you want to know that it’s in good hands? Ask where your money’s going. And be specific. A lot of these groups will tell you that more than 80% of donations go to research, education, and prevention, but they’ll fail to tell you, or bury it in some obscure document, that research only gets 10-25% of the funding.  What can you get with 10-25%? Not a lot. Ask my husband. Scientific research is incredibly competitive when it comes to funding because funding is very, very hard to come by, and what funding is available is barely enough to buy new pipettes. Stifling budget restrictions are no way to treat the people we count on to search for better solutions, and with some luck and a lot of hope, a cure.

So give generously. But give smart too.


  1. Charity

    The sick bitches in my house have now infected me with their illnesses. I am sick.
    Charity recently posted..Fuck You Friday: Metamorphosis Edition (in honor of The Wily Weez)My Profile

  2. Charity

    I was apparently so sick, that my comment makes no fucking sense, at all. Fabulous.

    Also, I need a ‘No, it’s fucked” bumper sticker.
    Charity recently posted..Bowls. And fucks not given.My Profile

    1. admin

      I’m seriously considering uploading the image to Zazzle or Cafe Press and having them printed. Only none of this half assed bleeping shit. I know it’s Bob the Builder and all, but that just makes it funnier.

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