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Jun 05

I voted… but I would rather have punched someone in the face.

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The Wisconsin Recall Election is today, and as of 10 minutes ago, the polling stations have lines of cars and people half a mile long.

Like a dumbass, I waited to vote until after work, thinking that I’d stop on my way home. I’m registered. Should be a cakewalk, right? It would have been if they’d updated my voter registration as indicated when I did my name change after the wedding. So I got there, they couldn’t find me in the poll book under my married name, but found me under my maiden name. Then there was some debate about whether it would constitute voter fraud to let me vote under my maiden name, at which point, I just went into the next room to register and got a name change. What should have taken 5 minutes actually took 30. But if I don’t vote, then I automatically lose the right to mock everyone who thinks that this recall election will be the magic band-aid that cures all ills. So I sucked it up and got through it without committing felony or misdemeanor assault on a poll worker.

This whole election is the biggest fucking joke and the taxpayers are the butt of it, only they don’t know it yet. The last gubernatorial recall in which I voted resulted in 7 years of the Governator. If that’s not the biggest political rick-roll in US history, then I don’t think you understand politics. Anyway, Ah-nold didn’t get a whole lot done because the California legislature is ruled by 2/3 majority and no governor, republican or democrat, gets fuckall done during their term. So California is still broke as a joke, AND they’re still paying the bill for the 2003 recall.

Welcome to your future, Wisconsin.

They’re already reporting record voter turnout, which I find both amazing and incredibly stupid all at the same time. The same people who couldn’t be bothered to get off their ass and vote for a governor in the last election can’t get to a poll fast enough to remove the one that was elected. I’ve got news for you dipshits – if you didn’t vote in the first place, then you helped put Walker in office. While you sit there in your ignorant indignation and talk about how wrong he did you, you can also sit with your thumb firmly planted in your asshole and spin, because you had the opportunity vote for your preferred candidate, but you chose to do something else that day.

Seriously, FUCK YOU for your presumption. You’ve mired the democratic process in a mournful clusterfuck of stupid. Things didn’t go your way in the last election? No problem! We’ll recall the bastard for doing something he pretty much stated outright as part of his political agenda! We’ll sensationalize it, and blow it way the fuck out of proportion, and maybe people will forget that most of us failed to perform our civic duty! What matters here is that you are able to exercise your misplaced sense entitlement at the expense of everyone.

Fuck you, clownshoes. I may not like the guy or the policies that affected me negatively, but I accept that my opportunity to recall happens at the next scheduled election. You make the best of the situation and change it when the opportunity presents itself. You don’t use the system to subsidize your $16 million case of armchair voter’s remorse with a special election.

So seriously, fuck you people. You deserve a crane kick to the windpipe.

2 comments

  1. Naturally Inappropriate

    Clownshoes.

    I fucking laughed my ass off.

    Clownshoes.

    FUCK YOU, CLOWNSHOES!

    Yes. I’m stealing this word.

    1. admin

      It’s all yours. I’m pretty sure it came from The Big Lebowski anyway…

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