Ladies and gentlemen, I’m being sued! I think…
I got a strange letter at work yesterday addressed just to me. Not c/o my office, but to me personally, and it was from a law office which was even more strange. So I opened it and it was a solicitation from a law firm to offer their assistance for my recent lawsuit.
I went to the court access website and pulled up my name to find that, sure enough, I’m named as a defendant on a small claims suit, and I recognize the plaintiff, because she’s a named defendant on the case scheduled for hearing tomorrow. Remember those crazy kids who moved out without paying their last month rent and left their apartment painted purple, so we had to keep their security deposit to cover their unpaid rent and sue them for the cost of repainting those god awful purple walls? Apparently, their cosigner thinks that I owe her a security deposit.
There are a couple problems with this:
- There’s no security deposit due. That last month of unpaid rent ate the whole thing up. There wasn’t even anything left to pay the cleaners, even if we had decided to keep the atrocious walls the same color.
- She’s the cosigner, not the tenant. That just makes her responsible for rent or damages in case her deadbeat kid doesn’t pay. Any deposit owed would be sent to the tenant.
- She named me personally in the counter suit (and it is listed with the courts as a counter suit) even though I work for an LLC and can’t be held personally liable for her misunderstanding of the law, which is grounds for automatic dismissal.
- Even though the case is listed with the courts as of a week ago, I haven’t formally been served and my response date is listed for 3 weeks from today, while I have to legally be served within the next 10 days to keep the case from being dismissed.
So I’m sorry if I got you all excited, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be throwing myself on the mercy of the judge for anything more than a possible traffic ticket anytime soon. Of course, if she does figure out this crazy little thing called a summons and complaint, I’ll still have to send a written response requesting that the case be dismissed for the reasons above. Then I’ll still have to go and request it again in front of a court commissioner, where I’ll first have to sit with her in the waiting area and attempt to avoid telling her that she’s a moron who birthed a little moron who dates a fat moron.
Meanwhile, she, her moron child and fat, hairy boyfriend are due to have their hearing for our lawsuit tomorrow. When they lose that suit, she may just not bother with the counter suit. Even stupid people make smart choices once in a while. If not, well, it’s a fun few hours that I won’t have to be in the office.