Jan 09

I Object – You’re an idiot.

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Ladies and gentlemen, I’m being sued! I think…


I got a strange letter at work yesterday addressed just to me. Not c/o my office, but to me personally, and it was from a law office which was even more strange. So I opened it and it was a solicitation from a law firm to offer their assistance for my recent lawsuit.



Say what?


I went to the court access website and pulled up my name to find that, sure enough, I’m named as a defendant on a small claims suit, and I recognize the plaintiff, because she’s a named defendant on the case scheduled for hearing tomorrow. Remember those crazy kids who moved out without paying their last month rent and left their apartment painted purple, so we had to keep their security deposit to cover their unpaid rent and sue them for the cost of repainting those god awful purple walls? Apparently, their cosigner thinks that I owe her a security deposit.

sue people


There are a couple problems with this:

  1. There’s no security deposit due. That last month of unpaid rent ate the whole thing up. There wasn’t even anything left to pay the cleaners, even if we had decided to keep the atrocious walls the same color.
  2. She’s the cosigner, not the tenant. That just makes her responsible for rent or damages in case her deadbeat kid doesn’t pay. Any deposit owed would be sent to the tenant.
  3. She named me personally in the counter suit (and it is listed with the courts as a counter suit) even though I work for an LLC and can’t be held personally liable for her misunderstanding of the law, which is grounds for automatic dismissal.
  4. Even though the case is listed with the courts as of a week ago, I haven’t formally been served and my response date is listed for 3 weeks from today, while I have to legally be served within the next 10 days to keep the case from being dismissed.


So I’m sorry if I got you all excited, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be throwing myself on the mercy of the judge for anything more than a possible traffic ticket anytime soon. Of course, if she does figure out this crazy little thing called a summons and complaint, I’ll still have to send a written response requesting that the case be dismissed for the reasons above. Then I’ll still have to go and request it again in front of a court commissioner, where I’ll first have to sit with her in the waiting area and attempt to avoid telling her that she’s a moron who birthed a little moron who dates a fat moron.



Meanwhile, she, her moron child and fat, hairy boyfriend are due to have their hearing for our lawsuit tomorrow. When they lose that suit, she may just not bother with the counter suit. Even stupid people make smart choices once in a while. If not, well, it’s a fun few hours that I won’t have to be in the office.


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  1. Misty

    My advice? Don’t even mention you know about the counter suit. Not at the hearing, to the judge, and especially not to her and her daughter. Sometimes knowledge is enough. It’s not service, but it might gunk up the works. Depends on the jurisdiction and most definitely the judge. Just a little friendly free advice. 😉

    I would say good luck, but it doesn’t sound like you need anything remotely close to it, them being ignorant assholes and all. Man, I just can’t WAIT to have totally dependant, whiny asshole college kids. It’s gonna be SO SWEET. :-/
    Misty recently posted..Misty’s CometMy Profile

    1. admin

      The good news is that all small claims, evictions, and replevins in our county require proof of service by sheriff or process server, and then newspaper if she can’t serve me that way. It also didn’t show that she paid the filing fee, so I’m guessing that she just mailed it in from her home state. I’m going to hold my tongue and see what happens with the hearing tomorrow and then wait to see if the summons is ever actually served.

      As for whiny asshole college kids, I’d tell them that they’re on their own as soon as they leave the house. Make ’em get a part time job to cover their underaged drinking and illicit recreational drug use. At least then they’ll appreciate it more. I kid you not, I have a tenant whose parents make her submit itemized requests for money and then she has to provide receipts to show that she actually used it for that purpose. It must have been interesting to be a child in her house.
      admin recently posted..I Object – You’re an idiot.My Profile

  2. bluzdude

    I want to see it go to court, if for no other reason but to read the inevitable, highly entertaining blog post that will follow.
    bluzdude recently posted..97 Years of AwesomeMy Profile

    1. admin

      I did end up getting served, but she already lost in court yesterday, so I requested that it be dismissed with prejudice.

  3. Valerie


    I’m actually speechless… And that shit never happens…

    Good luck!


    Valerie recently posted..I have perfect, bulbous toes and have saved the world from them more times than I can countMy Profile

    1. admin

      Right? Her whole reason for counter suing is that having a judgment against her is unacceptable to her as a business owner. I don’t know what she thinks counter suing is going to do because even if she wins (so highly unlikely), the other judgment will still be right there on her record.

  4. Ta

    Bitches be crazy!

    Sometimes I wonder how people manage to breathe, with how few brain cells they have.

  5. tazer warrior princess

    And apparently I’m one of the idiots, because I can’t even type my own handle in correctly, or pass a captcha without trying eleven hundred times. *facepalm*
    tazer warrior princess recently posted..You can’t spell diet without DIEMy Profile

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