Jan 13

Bonus Post for the Day: I’m sorry, Jen.

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I went home last night, not really in the mood for cooking dinner, but in light of our 5.25 inches of snowfall, I felt that something warm and comforting was in order. Something that goes well with soup, perhaps? So I dug through my impressively massive recipe archive and dug out this little beauty.
I apologize in advance to Jen, who seems to be getting monstrously screwed by her diet and she cannot currently partake of my culinary porn offerings. For everyone else,  Enjoy!
Bacon, Cheddar, and Gruyere Biscuits

Ethereal beauty, baconfied.

3 3/4 cups bread flour
1 1/2 tablespoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) chilled unsalted butter, cut into cubes (I’m sorry, Jen!)
2 cups (packed) coarsely grated sharp cheddar cheese (I’m so sorry, Jen!)
1/2 cup (packed) finely grated gruyere cheese (I’m truly ever so sorry, Jen!)
6 thick-cut bacon slices (I’m so, very, very, infinitely sorry, Jen!)
1/4 cup chopped fresh chives, parsley, basil, or whatever pretty greenery blows your hair back
3/4 cup chilled buttermilk
1 cup sour cream

Preheat oven to 425°F. Line heavy large baking sheet with parchment paper. Cook bacon in heavy large skillet over medium heat until crisp and brown. Transfer bacon to paper towels to drain, then chop coarsely.

Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add butter cubes and mix with a pastry blender until the mixture is a coarse meal. (You could use a food processor if you’re lazy, but I was feeling old school last night.) Add cheeses, greenery, and bacon; toss to blend. Gradually add buttermilk and sour cream, stirring to moisten evenly (batter will feel sticky).

Drop 1/2 cup batter for each biscuit onto prepared baking sheet, spacing batter mounds about 2 inches apart. Likewise, you can form triangles, or roll it out and cut shapes out. (Pigs would be awesome.)

***Now here’s where my recipes gets a smidge controversial. These are technically biscuits, so you can put them directly into the oven and they will come out flaky and delicious. I’m more of a scone person, myself, so I prefer to beat an egg white and baste the tops with it before baking. They develop a beautiful, glossy, golden crust with a light, moist center.***

Bake these little bacon darlings until golden lightly browned on the bottom edge, 15 to 18 minutes. Brush biscuits lightly with melted butter. Let cool for however long it takes to avoid burns while stuffing your face.

It probably goes without saying that these are phenomenal when cut in half and turned into egg and cheese breakfast sandwiches… 


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  1. Charity

    1. Are you changing the name to your site? Because, if so, I need to fix my web-stalker page.

    2. Bacon is kinda gross.
    Charity recently posted..Dear Son: Don’t Screw My Weekend, YoMy Profile

    1. admin

      The intent has always been to change the title. Everything Ertel was okay when we were planning the wedding and had family and friends checking for updates, but now that it’s over they won’t be stopping by. The URL will stay the same, but it’s Everything Mandi now and I can use a more me friendly title. It’s just taken me a while to think of something other than “Cranky, Conceited Bitch with a Blog and a Bug Up Her Ass.”

  2. Jen

    It’s a good thing I love you, Mandi, because…DAAAAAAAAAAMN THOSE LOOK AMAZING!!!! Now excuse me, I must continue to stare at the picture of those biscuits while I lick my computer monitor.
    Jen recently posted..I’m a Republican…You’ve Been Warned.My Profile

    1. admin

      It occurs to me that the Monday recipe review must be hell for you, given the combination of beer, booze, bacon, and dietary restrictions…

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