Okay, so maybe I spend a little much time in the Simpsons universe too. Dumb by osmosis. Whatevs. My point, which I shall get to in a moment, is that communication is key in a marriage, lest one spouse bring home a cinematic aberration which causes undue suffering of the other.
So because Netflix kind of pissed us off, we went and got a membership to a local video store. Since it was a quiet weekend at home (being that I have to make about 50 different craft items for a show in 2 weeks), we tried to get some of the movies that we weren’t fortunate enough to catch while they were in the theaters. Things I wanted to see: Bad Teacher. Pirates of the Caribbean on Stranger Tides. Horrible Bosses. What Ken brought home: Your Highness.
“They didn’t have the other movies on anything but Blu-Ray, so I got Your Highness.”
“Gawd, why?!? You could have rented the Blu-ray for my laptop and I would have just connected it to the TV with that nifty HDMI cable over there. Why do you hate me? Why do you hate technology?”
Fine. Whatever. I figured I’d spend more time looking at my needlework than the screen. Yet this movie was still, far and away, the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen Dumb and Dumber twice). I spent just shy of 90 minutes fighting the urge to stab myself in the eyes with a tapestry needle, for fear of getting blood on my craft project. The object of my deepest affections just guffawed through the whole damn thing, mostly at my psychopathic twitching, I’d wager.
“Ken, this is utterly retarded in the most offensive and Special Olympics kind of way.”
“Yeah, I know. I have no idea why you insisted on renting it.”
Yes, he redeemed himself to an extent by getting Pirates 4 the next day, but it was the steak dinner to celebrate our anniversary that truly made it up to me. I think I’ll keep him around for a while. Unless he makes me sit through Dumb and Dumber.