May 20

A Fine Line Between Love and War

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Planning a wedding is hard enough. Planning a wedding while packing and preparing for a cross country move is just hazardous to your health. But the show must go on (or so I’ve been told), so the planning continues. At this point, however, it’s less about planning than it is putting the deposits in and saving the funds necessary to pay the balance.

And of course, there’s the hassle of trying to keep too many people happy, but failing miserably.

I can’t say that I’ve enjoyed the planning process very much to this point. For one, I never wanted to drop the kind of money that is synonymous with a traditional wedding. I suppose I’m something of an Off-beat bride, in that I don’t care about this little nit picky details associated with tradition. I’ve never really appreciated the pomp and circumstance associated with any ceremony. Who am I obligated to choose to be in the wedding party? What must the invitations say? How does etiquette dictate that I seat my guests? Should the bride and groom see each other before the wedding? Sorry, I just don’t care.

And so, what I’ve ended up with is the simplest elements of a ceremony and reception, presented in the most elegant (and expedient) way possible. I wrote the ceremony script to be less than 15 minutes long. There will be no readings, no unity candles, no sand ceremonies. None of those things have any meaning to me, and I don’t feel a need to bore my guests with it out of a sense of tradition.

There are no caterers. We’re picking up the food just before the ceremony and keeping it in the warming oven. Beverages are beer, wine, water, and soft drinks. I hired one bartender because it was required, but I could have done without him too.  It’s simple, it’s good, and it’s tacos! If that doesn’t say awesome party, then I’m not so sure the party is worth having!

There’s no dance floor, and no formal DJ. A friend of ours is going to handle the emcee duties, but I hand picked the music for both ceremony and reception. There weren’t going to be many guests who were inclined to dance, and the venue doesn’t allow the space for a dance floor, so I wasn’t going to bother renting one to have it go to waste.

There are no flowers. It’s a fall wedding. Find me a locale that still has blooming flowers at the end of October, and I’ll tell you they’re ugly. My theme is simple- fall leaves. There will be decorations, they just won’t be of the floral variety.

The serveware is plastic. The centerpieces won’t be a perfect match to the linens and they’ll be homemade. The favors will also be homemade and edible. We’re not inviting everyone we’re related to or passing acquaintances with. I don’t have the space, and I don’t want to look back in 5-10 years wondering who these people in my pictures are.

The ceremony and reception will be nice, they will be simple, and they will incorporate the things and the people most important to me. Anything else just isn’t worth the hassle, and the second it becomes a hassle, the deal’s off.

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